


my eyes don't shed tears, but boy they pour (when I'm thinking bout you)

by alpacataco



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, Gendry Waters is a Jon Snow Stan, Gendry said fuck lordship, Jon Snow and Gendry Waters are Best Friends, POV Gendry Waters, i'm bitter, the Jon and Gendry broship we deserved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-05-15 11:30:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19294849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alpacataco/pseuds/alpacataco
Summary: When all is said and done and their new king is chosen, Gendry decides he was right. It's not worth it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a month since the finale, and I'm still bitter. This is the product of said bitterness at 4 am. Hardly edited, and it's my first work for this fandom so I hope you all enjoy.

Seeing her again hurts more than he could’ve imagined. Regardless, he keeps a straight face as he glances at her from across the dragon pit. He doesn’t look for her after. He knows she doesn’t want to see him anyways, otherwise she would’ve found him, and she hasn’t. _It’s for the best_ , he tries to convince himself. _No use in seeking out pain_.

Instead he finds Jon once it’s all said and done and he’s no longer trapped behind bars. He didn’t realize how much he missed his friend all these months. Although their time together hasn’t been long, there’s a certain bond that builds when you risk your life for someone to go North of the wall with them.

“So back to the wall for you it seems.”

“Aye, and off to Storm’s End for you. Off to do wonderful lordly things.” He says it lightheartedly, but his words rip at wounds that have not yet healed. Suddenly he’s overwhelmed by thoughts of what wait for him at Storm’s End. So many unfamiliar faces, people who will judge him and attempt to manipulate him. He shudders at the thought of all of the lords that will begrudgingly attempt to marry off their daughters to the _bastard lord of Storm’s End._

No. _That’s not me._ He thinks bitterly. He doesn’t want that life just as much as Arya didn’t. He told her it wouldn’t be worth it without her and he was right, because without her there to protect him from the wolves they’ll tear him to shreds. He chuckles to himself at the comparison then turns back to Jon with a new sense of determination.

“No, no featherbeds for me.” The song comes to him deep within a memory of a time he wishes he could return to. Jon stares at him bemusedly. “Let’s be honest, a bastard such as myself wouldn’t be any good at being a lord. I can barely read, let alone be responsible for an entire population.”

A look of understanding settles on Jon’s face, much too familiar with the weight of being bestowed a responsibility he never asked for.

“Where will you go then?”

“North. With you. As far North as you go, I’ll go too.” He says it with such conviction because he knows, he _knows_ this is right. No one will expect anything from him North. No one will try to force him to marry if he follows Jon. And without Arya, it’ll be nice to have a familiar face. Thankfully, Jon doesn’t try to convince him otherwise. He only smiles and claps his hand on Gendry’s shoulder.

“Are you sure? There’s a lot you’re giving up.”

“It’s easy to give up what you don’t know. I’m sure.”

“And what about Storm’s End?”

“I think it’s high time Davos gets thanked for all he did for us, don’t you?” Jon gives a hearty laugh and nods.

“Aye, I think he does. Although I’m not sure he’ll consider this a gift.”

* * *

 

They spend a little more time discussing plans before Gendry sets out to find Ser Davos and King Bran. Luckily he finds them in the same place on the steps just outside the ruined keep.

“Milord, what brings you here?” Davos asks curiously.

“I’d like to speak to you both if you have a moment.” Ser davos nods bemusedly while Bran harbours a knowing look in his eyes but nods nonetheless. “I would like to give up my claim on Storm’s End and give it to Ser Davos instead if that’s alright. And if not give it to someone else. I don’t care, just anyone better than me.”

Ser Davos splutters in surprise.

“Lad, what are you- think this through will ye? While I’m honored, this is a brash decision you’re making.” Gendry goes to speak and defend his decision but Bran beats him to it.

“He’s already made up his mind Ser Davos. Of course, I shall grant your request, as long as Ser Davos is willing to accept it.” Davos stares at Gendry as if trying to see into his soul. He must find what he’s looking for, for he nods solemnly in acceptance.

“What about you? What will you do?”

“I’m going with Jon.”

Shock colors Davos’s features again before asking, “why in the hells would you do that? No one sentenced you!”

“A self imposed exile. Not the only one we’ll see today.” Bran answers for him, and Gendry realizes he’s right. Although his brows furrow at the last part and he’s not too sure what he’s referring to but shrugs its off anyway. Davos sighs defeated with the response.

“Well, I hope you find the peace you’re searching for son.” Gendry’s eyes water as he embraces the closest man he had to a father figure and one of the handfull of people who actually gave a shit about what happened to him. He releases him after a moment.

“Take care of Storm’s End. I’m sure you’ll do great. Much better than me at least.”

* * *

He packs what little he has with him fairly quickly, and with a sack over his shoulder and his warhammer in hand he starts making his way out of the Keep and to the docks where he’ll meet Jon. As he walks he considers attempting to find Arya again, to say goodbye. This would be the last time he sees her again probably for ever, there’s no guarantee. But then he remembers that ache he felt when he found out she rode off with Sandor Clegane in the dead of night without so much as a goodbye to anyone, knowing fully well she was riding to her death. And call him petty, but maybe she doesn’t deserve his goodbyes, he clearly wasn’t worthy of hers.

He gets to the cliff overlooking the docks and spots Jon and his siblings saying their goodbyes and embracing, and decides to wait until they’re gone giving them this last moment together before joining Jon at the docks.

“You ready to go?” He asks as he approaches him. He notices the tear Jon hastily wipes and ignores it. He knows how hard this must be for him. Jon is leaving his family, after having them back for so little time. All Gendry was leaving was a love that didn’t want him.

“You’ll see them again.” He assures despite knowing he shouldn’t make such promises.

“Will I? After everything that’s happened, I’m not sure I want to step foot in King’s Landing or Winterfell again. And Arya’s sailing West to see what’s West of Westeros and who knows if she’ll ever come back.” Jon explains as they make their way to their waiting ship that will take them to Eastwatch.

The last part catches Gendry by surprise, and for a second he can’t breathe. _She’s leaving again, she’s leaving Westeros. What if she dies? She can’t die. She’s going to die. I’ll never see her again._ Gendry clenches his eyes shut and tries to catch his breath. _She’s gone._

He’s surprised she’s leaving if he’s honest. After she spent so much time trying to get back to her family, it doesn’t make sense for her to willingly leave them for such a dangerous purpose. He knows in his heart more than ever now that he’ll never see her again.

As he and Jon board the ship and set sail a little after, he stays on the deck and looks out at the remains of King’s Landing getting smaller in the distance. As he stares out at what once was his home and watches it fade out of view, he briefly remembers a small dirty girl offering him a home that he let slip away. He reminds himself that it doesn’t matter in the end because he’s leaving too, and in the face of this information he tries to accept that there just wasn’t a future where they would be together.


	2. Ten Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten years have gone and passed.

There’s something so eerie yet so calm about the silence of the North. The vast expanse of white that covers the mountains as far as his eye could see blind him with the reflection of the sun. It’s been ten years since he stepped foot on this side of the Wall again with Jon, Tormund and few dozens of Freefolk at his side. Ten years as nomads traveling across the North finding more villages and meeting new people. Ten years of finally being free.  

When the time finally comes for the three of them to make a trip to the South, Gendry can’t help but feel loss at having to leave his freedom behind and anxiety just thinking about what Westeros holds for them. It’s been a long time since he thought of Arya, he’s had ages to get over her and he has, but as they make their way back he wonders if she survived. He sincerely hopes she did, but part of him doesn’t want to face her, afraid just the sight of her will make the pain resurface. 

“Cheer up,” Jon says with a clap on his shoulder. “It’s only a few months. Before you know it we’ll be back here running wild like always.”

Gendry smiles appreciatively at the man he considered a brother. Tormund comes up on the other side of him as they make their way back to the Wall and hands him a skin of ale. Gendry takes it and uncaps the lid.

“Well, I must admit,” he begins before bringing the skin to his lips and taking a swig. “It’ll be nice not having to drink this piss for a while.”

Jon chuckles in agreement while Tormund scrunches up his nose and mutters “it’s not that bad” under his breath. They walk a few more minutes in silence until finally they break out of the forest and stand just a league away from the imposing wall ahead of them. Gendry sighs and continues forward, “well, let’s not drag this out, shall we?”

 

* * *

 

Ten years. It’s been ten years since Arya Stark got on a ship and travelled west in search of a land unknown. What she found instead was a never ending ocean, a handful of mostly uninhabited islands, and finally, after three years of sailing, the east shores of Essos. She was disappointed to say the least, but she made the most of it anyways, spending the next two years exploring the Free Cities of Essos before turning her ship toward Westeros once again.

After a few more months of sailing and riding, Arya stepped foot in Winterfell and the loving embrace of her sister.  

“It’s so good to see you alive and well. Come, you’re just in time for supper. We can dine in my solar! I want to hear all about your travels!” Sansa’s enthusiasm is exhausting after so much travel, but comforting in a way she didn’t know she missed.

They sit in the solar for hours as Arya recounts everything she experienced and Sansa listens as she looks over a few letters she received throughout the day. Sansa listens intently to what her sister has to say as she reaches to open another letter. Arya stops speaking, caught off guard by the yellow wax seal of the letter in her sister’s hands. 

It’s been over five years since she last saw Gendry in the dragon pit. She hasn’t thought about him in ages, and the sudden intrusion into her mind has her momentarily at a loss for words.

“How- How is the Lord of Storm’s End?” She asks trying hard to keep her voice steady as Sansa reads through the letter.

“Wonderful! Well, it wasn’t easy at first with the Stormlands in shambles, but with the help of Bran and I, he was able to straighten things out in only a year! He and his wife are very well respected and loved by their people, especially since they used to be commoners themselves.”

Arya breathes deeply at the mention of Gendry getting married. She tries hard not to dwell on it. She is, after all, the one who told him to find himself a proper lady. She can only blame herself for pushing him away.

“Well, I am glad to hear Gendry is doing so well.”

“Gendry?”

“Yes. Gendry Baratheon, the Lord of Storm’s End.” Arya clarifies.

“Oh! No, Gendry gave up his claim soon after the dragon pit council and gave it to Ser Davos.” Arya’s head is reeling. _N_ _one of it would be worth anything if you’re not with me_.

“What?! Where is he now?”

“I’m not sure. I never saw him again after the council. Why do you care so much?” Sansa asks.

“I don’t. I was just confused, that’s all.”

They continue to talk for awhile long before Arya retires to her bedchamber exhausted with the events of the day. Try as she might, she can’t help but let her thoughts drift to the blacksmith she left behind so many years ago. She wonders where he is and if she’ll ever see him again, if he hates her for turning down his proposal, for not saying goodbye. 

She vows not to let him plague her mind like this again, and for the next five years that she lives in Winterfell, he doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me a long ass time to write this mostly bc I really don't know where this is going. I will be adding 1 or 2 more chapters at least though.

**Author's Note:**

> Come cry with me on Tumblr @alpacataco  
> I don't know if I want to add an extra chapter or not, I guess we'll see.


End file.
